I stopped into Starbucks,
'Cause Krystal was closed,
To get me some coffee,
And low and behold--
Some kids in the corner,
With black clothes and mics,
Was ascreamin' and jumpin',
Like Tinas and Ikes!
Their girlfriends had left 'em,
Their daddies was mean,
Their lives was as empty,
As a tube of zit cream.
I seen 'em emotin',
All worked up and fraught,
Then sit on the new cars,
That their mamas had bought.
Them kids was aclappin',
And the line was still long,
So I asked if ol' gramps here,
Coulda sing 'em a song.
"I got moles with whiskers,
And hairs in strange places,
That ain't yet developed,
On your young, pimply faces."
"My rectum is twitchin',
From hemorrhoids and shakes,
Got bunions and choppers,
And big dandruff flakes."
"My savings is empty,
But I'm full of gas,
And I'm still glad to be one
Old pain in the ass!"
Them kids started leavin',
All somber and smug,
As I sat down in peace and,
Enjoyed my warm mug.
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